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The Glamorous Life of a Paralegal

The Glamorous Life of a Paralegal

We flying in first class
Up in the sky
On a jet plane
Livin’ the life
In the fast lane
I wont change
By the glamorous, oh the flouncy flouncy

~ Fergie, “Glamorous”

I taught paralegal students at the local community college in a variety of courses ranging from the introductory course to family law theory. Bear in mind, this was in the late 90s, and many of my students had a view of the legal profession as glamorous and sexy, a vision no doubt reinforced by the long-running television series, L.A. Law (1986-1994).

My students had a lot of questions about what they could expect. I had a lot of answers they weren’t overly receptive to:

Student: Will I have my own secretary?

Me: The Magic 8-Ball is choking on its own laughter, but says, “VERY doubtful.”

Student: Will my starting salary be $65,000 per year?

Me: The Magic 8-Ball is stuck between “My sources say no” and “Better not tell you now.”

Student: Will I have to pick up the boss’s dry-cleaning?

Me: The Magic 8-Ball says, “Signs point to yes.”

Student: That thing’s a dud. No way I’m picking up anybody’s dry-cleaning.

It would have been helpful if we’d had legal blogs back then. Or even the Internet. Then I could have directed them to Elie Mystal’s recent Above the Law post, “One Way to Pad Your Hours: Picking Up Dry Cleaning”.

Elie runs into “Random Dude,” a BigLaw paralegal who blabs that he’s picking up his boss’s dry-cleaning – on the clock. I hope when Random Dude defensively said, “It’s hours,” he meant administrative and not client. See where this post could have killed two educational birds with one stone: job duties and ethics?

Dry-cleaning also took a beating elsewhere in the blawgosphere this week, as Corporette attempted to answer the age-old question, “Why do my clothes still stink even after dry-cleaning?” Readers offer all kinds of helpful tips, the most popular being to spray vodka on the offensive area in question. (Jennifer comments, “Air it out in the sun though, or you’ll smell like a lush.”)

Since it seems to be an essential laundry tool to have around the house, I think it’s okay to mention that a swig of vodka is also useful after a long day of working as a paralegal, without a secretary, making less than 65k per annum, and sweating enough bullets to challenge the best dry-cleaner.

But just a swig. You don’t want to smell like a lush…

Sources: Above the Law; Corporette

Related Post: Life Is an English Class; Paralegal Students Benefit from Good Relationships with Faculty & Staff; Tips for Paralegal Students

2 Responses to The Glamorous Life of a Paralegal

  1. You crack me up! Truly paralegals are glamorized, and you have the best way of approaching it! Love the 8 Ball approach. LOL! Twitter Fan – DeniseSays

  2. Thanks, Denise. You know I love being a paralegal, but can't think of any occasions where I exuded anything close to glamor…lol.

    Well, okay, maybe when I cleaned up pretty nice for a paralegal association reception 😛

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Contact Info:

Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]gmail.com

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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