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Great Thoughts by Guest Spammers

Great Thoughts by Guest Spammers

As readership of your blog grows, so do comments from spammers. They are a pain in th’ butt, but I’m not going to turn on Blogger’s even more painful captcha to stop them. Blogger’s horrid captcha, with its run-on letters and furry numbers, has prevented me from leaving many a comment on others’ blogs. I’ma be honest here. I can’t read those furry little numbers, even with my bifocals.

But recently I’ve had an epiphany. Some of these spam comments are literary and philosphical gems. GEMS, I tell you. Almost poetry. So I thought I’d let the spammers guest post today (and maybe once a week. This is too much fun!)

This is a pre-post tease (see fate happening in advance below) and a chance to show off my used Frye riding boots scored from eBay, that in real-time I wore every day last week.  
And may wear every day next week.
There’s a party in the back of these babies, so stay tuned to next week’s posts.

Guest Thoughts by Great Spammers: 

We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. [Ruh-roh. I hope I’m not called to testify at your RICO trial.]

Most folks have more belly fat these days as well as the sad part is not many are conscious of this. [Well, we are now. Rude.]

You can understand the benefits of weight loss only once you lose weight. [Thanks for clearing that up for us, but I’m still mad about the belly fat.]

There’s a few things you should know before using a Vaporizer. [This sounds like weapons training for a tour on the Star Trek Enterprise. Let’s DO it!]

The smoke from this item can be cleared out in a matter of minutes. [Awesomes. ‘Cause I haven’t quite got the hang of the Vaporizer yet…]

Your humoristic style is witty!  [I was gonna beat-up on this spammer for making up a word, but he didn’t. Do I ever feel stupid…and slightly less humoristic.]

I am really grateful to the owner of this web page who has shared this enormous post at this time. [Wait a minute. My posts are mostly pics. Are you calling me FAT? Wasn’t bringing attention to my belly fat enough for you?]

I’m surprised why this twist of fate did not happen in advance! [It’s taking me a while to get my head around this one, although I’m a huge fan of The Time Traveler’s Wife.]

Hello it’s me. [Why HELLO! It’s me, too! Wanna vaporize my belly fat?]

32 Responses to Great Thoughts by Guest Spammers

  1. LOL! Please do make this a feature – your commentary is hilarious! I hope my enormous posts will also benefit from vaporization . . .

  2. I don't get ANY! I am feeling ignored and left out now, does everyone else get a ton of these comments except for me?
    I can't make out the letters or the furry little numbers on word verification… There, doesn't that make you feel better, Lynne?! xxxx

  3. Lolol! I've had some great ones, especially recently, but I finally just turned off anonymous commenting. I haven't gotten any spam since doing that. I didn't want to have to do captcha or otherwise, so hopefully it doesn't cause any problems.

  4. I went through a period of crazy spamming, but luckily I haven't dealt with it in a while
    I got some pretty crazy stuff as well
    I am like you, I would rather deal with a spammer any day that with the likes of a captcha code
    brett

  5. Very good use of spam. Perhaps a spam appreciation award or some such thing is in order…? Spam-you…Spam-that…Spaminator…Spam-back. Okay, I quit.

  6. I get funny ones linked to certain old posts – they seem to like particular outfits! My favourite is where the spammer Complains About The Spam. Yes, really. I have never had an appearence-related one, just compliments on my 'clarity of writing, so useful to me at this time'.. Etc

    Gorgeous boots, look forward to seeing the rest of you in a later post! Xx

  7. Seriously laughing over here – totally needed that today! Spammers are the reason I turned the "approval" stuff back on my blog, no captcha, but I have final say over what gets published!

  8. I've had a slew of spammer comments in the past few days too. blogger used to do a good job of putting them straight in the spam folder but I don't know what's going on now. They are all commenting on only one post too.
    Love your tights. I'm wearing blue tights today on the blog also

  9. Hilarious comebacks, just killer! I don't get these myself, but am overdue for another search-term roundup featuring the word "bondage." I'm in love with this photo of you and The Corginator – looks like you greet animals with the same degree of overwhelmingly affectionate enthusiasm as me! Also, fantastic outfit!

    (HI PUPPY! HI!!! WHO'S A GOOD PUPPY, WHO IS!!!)

  10. This is too cute – I've noticed that one certain post seems to attract spam comments.

    These are fun – thanks for giving me a giggle.

  11. OMG, ROFLMAO, etc., etc.!!! I am so with you on this. Spent half my week tossing these out. From your replies, I see we're not alone. And I had to reinstate the Robot Test as well.
    Witty and beautiful, you are! Hope you, whole family, especially the Teen are doing well, and I'm sending regards to the Corginator.
    J.

  12. Ha aha haaaaaahaaaaahhhhhhaa! You are funny! SPAMMERS ARE CRAY-CRAY!

    I am lured in by your Frye tease- what's the party in the back-

    and it better have nothing to do with my scheming belly fat.

  13. Most of the RiS spammy comments lately have been dull, but yesterday we got a hit from the search term "lesbian wearing earrings." Would a lesbian wearing earrings look different than anybody else wearing earrings, in this person's mind? I wonder.

  14. Thank You Thank You Thank You Thank You (this could go on for a while) for not turning on the captcha. Those things are evil.

    I get almost no spam comments on my blog, because I don't allow Anon commenters. Yes, I know there are some 'off the grid' people who don't want to leave a name, but I feel like the trade off for not even having to delete those comments out of my spam filter is worth it.
    Chic on the Cheap

  15. I personally love the spammers. I have to say, Blogger does an AMAZING job of filtering, but I enjoy reading my spam file too from time to time. Please to be thanking you for sharing with us the postings of the Bloggering peoples who are funny, visit my website and lose belly fat and take a paydayloan cheap designer handbags for you.

    Snort.

Contact Info:

Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]gmail.com

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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