The Blog Formerly Known As Practical Paralegalism
Before you go any further, seriously I do swear
often once in a while too much when it’s the perfect word choice, um, yeah, that last one. So you might want to stop now if swearing offends you. I’m not offended that you’re offended, I’m just raising a possible language alert.
I think I’ve told you guys I have an Age 50 Style Bucket List. You might be surprised by one of the items I really, really wanted: a Wendy Brandes swear necklace. But my bucket list should also include the word budget, and I don’t normally invest in pieces that I can’t wear to work (law office, to new readers).
So I marked a piece of WendyB swear jewelry off my Age 50 Style Bucket [Budget] List, and just longed from afar. Some of y’all pro’bly take the position it is not nice to swear, but in real time, I’m a Potty Mouth Gurl, with an unseemly interest in pop culture. (Heya, Perez! And hey, WendyB!) Before you judge me, I also have an associate membership to The Met.
So why do I own a piece of WendyB jewelry, when I have a tight budget and can’t wear swear jewelry to work?
Because the day we received the news that The Teen had a stroke, carotid artery stenosis (to which everyone says, “My grandpa has that!” Yes, but she’s 16), and needs to attempt a bone marrow transplant if a donor can be found, I needed something physical to hold onto, to be my mantra and my comfort piece. I know some peeps go for religious items, and I do think many of them are pretty, but they are definitely not me. Remember, I’m a Potty Mouth Gurl, and right now, I have a keen interest in British expletives. (If you know any good ones, PLEASE share in the comments.) But I digress.
On the day(s) we got all that overwhelming news, I didn’t cry (that took Make-a-Wish calling) but I did go to my computer and order Wendy’s swear necklace (for which I have not felt one ounce of guilt). For purposes of professional blogging and possible future employment prospects, we’ll call it the I*Don’t*Give*A*Flip necklace. Whenever peeps (surprisingly a great many) ask what the letters stand for, I smirk and say it’s the initials of my dogs, my cats, and my pet hamster. Mostly they say, “Cool.” No, I don’t have a hamster.
I can’t find the message I sent to Wendy with the order, but I know it went something like this:
Wendy, I’m ordering this necklace as my reminder that I don’t give a [flip] what the world thinks of me, because I am doing the very best I can. I am a strong woman, and I will handle what Life throws my way. So, Life, I don’t give a flip, bring it ON.
Like Life gives a shit. Whoops.
I love it best of all my jewelry. It’s so delicate and fine, yet so freakin’ fierce and empowering. Guys, I don’t have time to cry, all I have time to do is fight back.
So, which of you is dumping my blog for swearing? So, so sorry – come back later when me talk pretty soon!