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Virtual Paralegalism

The Blog Formerly Known As Practical Paralegalism

I’m a Paralegal, and I’m Here All Week

I’m a Paralegal, and I’m Here All Week
That’s a stamp, whippersnappers.

In the last year, my areas of specialization and legal support duties have expanded to include immigration, federal criminal, and Social Security disability cases, which I love, except for the communication with federal agencies part.

More accurately, the attempt to communicate with federal agencies part.

In order not to end up on any government, er, hit lists, let us just say that none of these agencies is overly fond o’ the email, the electronic data, or giving out direct contact information in any way, shape, or form, period, end of statement.

Shoot, I’m not even sure they’re too keen on publishing real telephone numbers.

All contact should be in writing, on bond paper, hole-punched, not directed to a recipient with an actual name or job title, and preferably delivered via Pony Express.

So I spend a lot more time on the telephone than I used to, when my preferred method of communication is a 140-character Tweet, because BAM! you can get to the point, like, instantly.

It only took my first time holding for an hour with the feds to learn to pee first before ya call ’em. And don’t drink iced tea before making any such wild and crazy contact efforts, either.

So today, I call the same federal agency I’ve been calling every day, and sometimes twice a day, leaving the same professional, detailed, but perhaps slightly and increasingly pathetic voice mail for anyone’s extension that I can reach before the voice mail system says all mythical reps are busy hangs up on me, begging for a return call so that I can move forward in my life and in my case load.

I tell my lovely supervising attorney as she passes my desk that I’ve left yet another voice mail, and does she know that a key player with a girl’s name is actually a boy, so don’t make that mistake like I did.

She encourages me to call again tomorrow.

You betcha I will. ‘Cause I’m a paralegal, and I’ll be here all week. But there’s no veal.

(Which is okay, because, ugh, veal.)

3 Responses to I’m a Paralegal, and I’m Here All Week

  1. LOL…I feel your pain! I work mostly with workers' compensation clients, but as most of them are older I deal quite a bit with Medicare set-asides and MSPRC. They are the most EVIL group of contractors the Federal Government has ever employed. I suspect it would be easier to get into Fort Knox then to get a non-smarmy answer in under 60 minutes from that group of obstructionists.

    You are correct thought that we will survive and thrive because we are Paralegals…and that is what we do! =)


  2. I also commiserate. I don't have a lot of occasion nowadays to contact government agencies, but in the past before you were able to obtain EINs online, I had to call the IRS quite often – a government agency whose bad side you do NOT want to get on. I had to laugh at the peeing advice. I have actually made more than one quick trip to the ladies' room and back while on hold with the IRS, waiting for a "live person."

Contact Info:

Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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