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More Resume Bloopers to Avoid

More Resume Bloopers to Avoid

The link to the article “Worst Resume Bloopers” by Maria Hanson of LiveCareer.com was posted by law professor Ross Runkel (@RossRunkel) on Twitter. Once again I’m grateful for my Twitter connections, because I might have missed it. I had so much fun reading it, I wanted to read more and found resume writer Rosa Vargas’ blog entry “Worst Resume Mistakes — Career Experts Share Resume Bloopers and More…”

Hilarity aside, these blunders are not atypical of job applicants. Reviewing them is an excellent way to ensure that excerpts from your resume will not appear in a future “bloopers” article.

A few key phrases to avoid using on your resume are:

“I’m good with the pubic.” (While it was surely intended to be a heartwarming sentiment, the lack of a single consonant makes it grounds for a guffaw and a direct flight straight to the trashcan). “I attended pubic high school” is also very bad.

“I have no patience for theft of companytime.” (I have no patience for failure to use the spell check feature on your word processor. This does remind me of a funny e-mail I once received from a former co-worker announcing that she had found 19 firm pens in a drawer at her house, and therefore assumed that we had all stolen office supplies as well and should return them promptly.)

“I am a witch.” (Unless you are applying for Wiccan jobs, of which there are currently none listed at SimplyHired.com, you should absolutely keep this information to yourself.)

“AWARDS: Won the cream pie-eating contest at the XYZ County Fair–25 pies in an hour!” (Wow. I definitely don’t want you working here, because I’d be concerned about leaving my lunch in the kitchen refrigerator).

Both of these articles contain invaluable advice regarding resumes, references and contact information. Sure, these examples are funny, but in truth, many enthusiastic applicants have committed these errors in the past, and unfortunately, will continue to do so in the future. In summary, don’t use your parents as a reference, don’t call your last boss “incompetent” or a “rat”, and don’t use your dog’s name or your porn author nom de plume in your e-mail contact address.

2 Responses to More Resume Bloopers to Avoid

  1. Yes unfortunately some of the costly mistakes job seekers make, are, well, funny. Funny to some of us, but not so funny to the job seeker who fail to win the new job. What might be helpful is if job seekers try to be objective. Remember that you are writing your resume for your new employer not for yourself. It is about You but not for YOU. With this in mind, screen it heavily, have someone else screen it, pay for someone to screen it!

  2. Thank you for your additional insight. The best step any job seeker can take BEFORE submitting that resume is to have an experienced professional, preferably someone in the same field, review it. Even worse for people screening hundreds of resumes, many of which may not be adequate, is the inability to let the applicant know why the resume and/or cover letter elimited him or her from the eligible pool of people to be interviewed.

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Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]gmail.com

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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