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On Missing @lilyhill

On Missing @lilyhill

The thing is, I had my eye on Twitterer @lilyhill for a professional profile for Practical Paralegalism. I just hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask my Twitter “rock star” for it. She was one of the first half dozen or so people that I followed on Twitter, attracted to her description on J.D. Twitt’s 145 legal Tweeps to follow on Twitter (which has since grown A LOT) as a “paralegal, social media evangelist, consultant”.

@lilyhill (for Lilyhill Consulting) immediately became one of my favorite Twitterers. When she tweeted, I smiled at her wit, was delighted by her sense of humor and marveled at her ability to find and share relevant, cutting-edge but sometimes ever so slightly delightfully off-kilter legal and professional news. She was my irreverent but knowledgeable Twitter goddess who tweeted the Tweets I wish I’d tweeted first.

So I was shocked to my toes to see this Tweet on Friday:

This is lilyhills daughter. She passed away on wednesday due to a stroke.
9:05 AM May 22nd from txt

And that’s how I found out that one of my bright stars in the Twitterverse, Roberta “Ro” Frazier, a/k/a @lilyhill on Twitter, was extinguished.

When I finally stopped crying, I knew I’d have to write about her but wondered if I could. But I discovered I didn’t have to write about her, because she did it best herself, via Twitter.

Her Twitter bio always makes me smile, no matter how many times I read it:

Paralegal, SOHO Consultant, Digital Coach, Trail Guide for the Techno-Paranoid. Ok, Office Goddess. My coffee mug says so.

@lilyhill tweeted good stuff in a witty fashion for legal professionals and social media enthusiasts, and lot of other Tweeps who were following her. I loved her Tweets because she didn’t take herself (or the legal profession) overly seriously, which in my eyes made her an on point, timely and outstanding source of news, advice and direction.

Some of her May 2009 Tweets included:

Is There Sisterhood in the Legal Profession?

42 Million U.S. Women Use Social Media: Blogs Most Influential

How To Get Your Lawyers To Let You Do What You Want

Woman killed by her laptop

Associate Job Losses May Mean Paralegal Job Gains

Virtual Assistants-7 Red Flags That Say You’re in Over Your Head Excellent points.

Impressing Your Boss with Time Management 2.0

And @lilyhill was helpful to others, patiently guiding the newbies:

@Helen_Gordon 2- Character limit is a killer. Forget grammar, learn shortcuts. 3- Good tools here:

@Helen_Gordon #1 Remembr tweets go everywhere. I fnd u becuz I monitr word paralegal. Unless u send a direct msg, anyone kn rd what u say.

And I think @lilyhill liked me as much as I liked her:

@Helen_Gordon Welcome to Twitter! Suggest you follow @ExpertParalegal and @VickiVoisin for starters. A lot of great paralegals on Twitter.

In one of our last DM (direct message) exchanges @lilyhill and I joked about those archaic telephones sitting on our desks collecting dust. Now many of us “twitter” instead of using the phone, and get to know a whole new world full of amazing people who are generous with their time and knowledge – and who leave a huge hole in our lives when they are suddenly gone.

I’m still surprised to not see her frequent Tweets and still missing the person that I considered my friend (and irreverent Twitter legal soulmate). For a beautiful tribute to @lilyhill by another Twitterer, @gloriabell, who said exactly what I feel, only much better, see “Who says Twitter Relationships are not real?”:

The bits and pieces of our lives that we daily share with each other on Twitter are the building blocks for those relationships. The times that we laugh together, support each other, educate one another, just chat, share virtual hugs, share wisdom & insight and on days like today, cry together. This is what builds those relationships.

7 Responses to On Missing @lilyhill

  1. Lynne,
    Nobody could have done a better job than you did with this post on @lilyhill. You touched every possible point one could think of in memorializing the woman we have all grown to love on Twitter. You did an amazing, fantastic job and I think everyone who reads this will agree.
    Tweeters like us are so grateful to @lilyhill's daughter for actually taking the time to come onto her mother's account and tweet to us that @lilyhill passed away. What a brave & caring action on her part…I guess she knew how involved @lilyhill was her followers on Twitter.
    Thanks, Lynne, for taking the time, energy & love to compose and post this wonderful blog entry. It was great reading her tweets and feeling the emotions you described when writing about her.

    Youre wonderful!
    The post is amazing.
    Godspeed to @lilyhill.

  2. I loved reading everything @lilyhill posted – I admired her and her ability to find not only the interesting things in the legal realm, but her wit and sense of humor about every day tribulations.

    Obviously, she will be missed by many in the twitterverse.

    My prayers and go out to all her family and friends.


  3. Beautifully done, Lynne. I, too was stunned the day @lilyhill’s daughter sent out the Tweet regarding her death. At first, I thought it was a really cruel joke. It’s such a tragic loss.

    As you said, her tweets were so fun to read and she brought brightness to an otherwise mundane work day. I’m still shocked by this event, but even more shocked that, though I never met her personally, I still feel so saddened to have lost her. It’s very strange to form such meaningful friendships on a social networking site as simple as Twitter, but it also speaks to the character of those of us who do befriend these ‘strangers.’ It says that we’re all human beings looking for others who can inspire us, support us and listen to us. Ro did that for me and she will certainly be missed. I wish her family well.

    Also, thank you, Lynne, for such a profound blog and eulogy. You truly honored her memory.

  4. Thank you so very much for memorializing Ro with your post.

    I was shocked when I read @lilyhill's daughter tweet and we, indeed, were numerous to express our sadness, and also, on my part, some distress at not being truly able to express condolences, and mourn someone I met online only.

    I had met Ro on Seesmic before following each others on Twitter, and because we had had so many face-to-face interactions, I felt like we were real life friends, I wished I could have done more in terms of giving her tribute for the wonderful, bright, shining personality I had met who all too suddenly disappeared from my daily world.

    I miss her, and I will always cherish the memories she left me with.

  5. I don't know what caused me to Google my mom's name today. Maybe it was because I was reading several articles on Michael Jackson's death.

    Regardless, I'm cross-posting this anywhere I can.

    It has been nearly a month since my mom's death. I still don't know the full details, only what I knew before. I was not home when it happened.

    Mom/Lillyhill/Ro/Roberta was cremated and her ashes are currently at the Grant Funeral home. There has been no funeral yet; private or public, altho the obituary says otherwise.

    My grandparents do not want a funeral, I and her friends do.

    I do not have direct access to her Twitter, only mobile access via her phone. I was able to get temporary access to her Gmail and gain her Facebook.

    I will be attempting to organise a funeral open to ANYONE who wants to come. She had too many friends in real life and otherwise. My hands would be worn to nubs if I tried to write, seal, and stamp invitations for everyone.

    Any news/updates will be posted via Facebook. If you don't have her, add her. "Roberta Frazier" same profile pic as always.

  6. "Ixiel" – Are you Jaclyn? I am so sorry about your mother. You and your family have my deepest sympathies. She was very special.

    I know that everyone would love to know the details of her memorial service when it's finalized, and if they can't come in person, maybe contribute another way, such as a memory book. I'd be glad to help you with that, if you like. My email address is on my blog page.

    Peace & grace,

Contact Info:

Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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