The Blog Formerly Known As Practical Paralegalism
Words to live by for any legal professional (and the general public): “Read the fine print.” Today, while drinking my aptly named “rescue” green tea vitaminwater®, I just happened to notice the fine print on the bottle, which says:
is it us or is “maturing” just another word for getting old? and who likes getting old anyway? your ears get hairier than your head, your back goes out more than you do, your late night dinners turn into early bird specials, you go from blonde hair to blue hair, and your little black book contains names that end only in m.d.
that’s why this bottle is packed with fancy science stuff (except without the bubbling beakers), like vitamin c & egcg (a natural antioxidant) to help kick your metabolism up a notch and keep you looking good from now until the day that you’re so “mature” you can put your teeth in a cup.
First, a disclaimer. I’m not getting paid to promote Glaceau vitaminwater®. I just like it. I’d better like it, since I can no longer drink coffee or soda. But in truth, it’s really delicious and the green tea flavor is the bomb-diggety.
Second, the fine print on this bottle initially took me aback, and then it made me laugh with its “home truths”. My back does go out more than I do, and while I haven’t seen any ear hair yet, I have noticed that women of a certain age (like my age) don’t have to shave their legs as often — but do have to shave their whiskers sometimes.
I do like the word “maturing” better than the phrase “getting old” but both sure beat the alternative. Sometimes I wonder if paralegals age faster due to the demands of a fast-paced, deadline-oriented career. We do need to take very good care of ourselves, because a lot of people rely on us: our lawyers, our clients and our families.
Dennis Miller said, “You’ve got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.” During my paralegal career, I’ve been guilty of eating more than a few “meals” from a 7-Eleven in my car or at my desk. But we need to take as good care of ourselves as we take of others (our lawyers, our clients and our families).
So drink some healthy beverages and eat some healthy snacks (those Mini Babybels rock and no, they aren’t sponsoring me, either) and try to stay out of the 7-Eleven unless you need gas. And read the fine print for the down-low on maturing well and trying to keep your teeth out of a cup.