The Blog Formerly Known As Practical Paralegalism
So, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share publicly on the Internetz what happened to me and my sis (hereinafter “Sis” ’cause I’ve only got just the one) when we recently got in our “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun [and behave like a total Spaz]” mode.
First, Sis calls to say she has front row tickets to see K.C. and The Sunshine Band!!!! Far out! Actually, I was a little young to go to discos in the 70s, but figured here was my chance to actually boogie down. Plus, she paid for us to go to the pre-concert cocktail party, where I imagined tons of righteous peeps would be letting it all hang out in groovy psychedelic patterns, platform shoes, and peace jewelry.
What, Whippersnappers? I heard you. You said, “Who th’ hell is K.C. and The Sunshine Band?” just like half the whippersnappers at the concert whose folks drug them there so they could relate. Or something.
Ah, now it’s coming to you. Bet ya you’ve shook your booty in an elevator at least once in your life, and didn’t even know why.
Second, I tell Sis one cannot go to a 70s concert without giving the 70s a nod in one’s attire. She immediately said, “NO.”
Okay, fine. I’m still going to be waving at K.C. in the front row in appropriate dress – for a disco. A paralegal friend offers up a $5 eBay score from the 70s, and then Sis comes around to the plan, and starts borrowing stuff from friends. We are stoked!
This is kind of a long embarrassing tale, but there are pics after the jump, I promise.
Only the night of the concert I find that my pretty powder blue dress is entirely see-through, and I have no appropriate foundation garments. I grab the vintage maxi dress I scored last year for $6, throw on a cool scarf from Megan, and load on tons of blue eye shadow, which my kids said looked so good on me I should wear it every day. They weren’t even joking.
I get to Sis’s house, and lay eyes on her outfit for the first time, and realize that she is going as Zebra Boogie Dancer. I’m both awe-inspired and slightly speechless. I know I will look like a wilting orange wallflower next to her. We grab lots of silly pics because this is really stellar, and we laugh all the way to the concert.
Until we reach the venue, and realize there is a cocktail party in progress. I quietly stated the obvious, “Sis, that is a REAL cocktail party.” You know, like serious (as in very serious) sedate high brow fund-raising event. Jackets and ties for the gents, cute summery cocktail dresses for the ladies. I got nary a funky vibe but an awful lot of strange looks.
Sis said, with all of her heart and soul, “I am going to KILL you.” I was pretty sure she was going to, and wanted to leave immediately, but then she said, “I paid for these tickets, and WE ARE GOIN’ IN.” Yeah, which was harder than you think since NO ONE was dressed to disco except a cool 70s dude waiter. Then everyone wanted their pics made with us, and even more with just Sis. I realize they think we are paid to be there, and am sorry to have not thought to open my vintage 70s evening bag and announce that we would not be averse to tips.
Then Sis discovered her front row tickets were for the mezzanine level, and I thought she might kill anyone responsible for selling tickets. I was disappointed K.C. wasn’t even going to get to see Zebra Boogie Dancer.
If you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ve applied for entry into The Witness Protection program, ’cause I’m pretty sure Sis still plans to kill me. I’m not sure why. It’s not like I dressed her.
P.S. All that blonde hair is hers. My red hair piece arrived an hour after I left for the concert. Prepare to see it on the blog, because as I told Vix, a fake pony tail is on my 50+ Style Blogger Bucket List. Almost there, readers, almost there.
I’m donating my Sis to Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style. Where all the groovy visible dudes hang out.