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The Case of the Missing Mini Eggs

The Case of the Missing Mini Eggs
Just enough animal print for the office. And hose (ugh).

I don’t keep a ton of chocolate around the house, but when Easter arrives (in America it starts the day after Christmas), and Cadbury Mini Eggs hit the shelves, I’m a woman of easy virtue, or maybe no virtue at all. Pretty much, I stockpile them in places no one in the family will look (like behind cleaning products) and I don’t share them.

That is totes pathetic, I know.

See the turtle? I made it when I was, like, six.
The Deets: Loft sheath dress (flash sale last year); It’s Our Time cardigan (thrifted); Ollio wedges (Amazon); Gold belt (GoodWill); Vintage brooch (The Citizen Rosebud – Etsy)

But last week, in a fit of virtuosity (I know that’s not the word for being incredibly virtuous, but it should be), I bought a bag of Mini Eggs, put them in a zip-lock freezer bag marked “to share”, and left them out on the kitchen table in the open.

Well, maybe not so much, since they were blocked by a bag of healthy Mandarin oranges. (hehehe, insert gleeful snort here)

I was the first to open them on Saturday, after they sat untouched for five days. It was probably the oranges, or the shopping bags I threw on top of the oranges. I ate, like seven Mini Eggs. Sooooo much virtuosity going on here.

Then I put them back on the kitchen table, zipped up tight in the freezer bag, and went to run a few errands with The Teen.

The first thing I noticed when we got back was the zip-lock bag on the kitchen floor – with its stomach savagely ripped out.

And by stomach, I mean Mini Eggs.

And then I saw the EMPTY Mini Egg bag.

And immediately thought, “OMGOMGOMG The Corginator is going to die of Mini Egg poisoning!!!!” (Only The Corginator would snarf an entire bag of chocolate at one sitting). I freaked out, and wrestled The Corginator to the ground to see if she was going into seizures. (BTW, she loved this.) No seizures and no remorse. Figures.

BUT…but…but…how did she get a whole bag of Mini Eggs – sealed in a freezer bag? She’s shaped like a loaf of bread with two-inch legs, and long past the age of jumping up on the table or the chairs. Even odder, everything else (interpret that as “awful mess”) was still on the table, including the shopping bags and the oranges. We figure the cat is involved, but we’re not sure how.

The solution to this problem is obvious. Hide your Mini Eggs and eat them all yourself.

30 Responses to The Case of the Missing Mini Eggs

  1. I'm calling for a cat surveillance camera – CatCam!

    Vizzini got into a zipped up purse TWICE this morning, and made off with my address book. It's sealed with an elastic band ('cause I'm Klassy with a K like that) and he's a fiend for rubber bands. There was much wrestling also, but it was not as well-received as the Corginator-style.

    Speaking of style, I am happy-dancing for this gorgeous Spring-y colour combo. You look lovely!

  2. Secret stashes aren't pathetic, they are strategic! The missing ones are a mystery indeed, though I can deeply relate to the appetite for whole bags of things, the extreme care in not disturbing anything else on the table, and also to being "shaped like a loaf of bread with two-inch legs." You'd never think we could go all Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment to get the goodies – but my "innocent face" is not nearly so good!

    I love your dear turtle and these glorious spring colours. Daffodils!!!

  3. Call in CSI! (although I dread the deeds they're going to have to perform to find the perp . . . ). I do suspect the Cat, because they are Sneaky and Subversive. One of mine unwrapped a biscotti on my husbands desk and, well, she didn't finish it, but she licked it real good.

    Love your colors!

  4. Loving this color combo!
    My downfall at Easter are the Robin Eggs, although I am proud to say I haven't had any yet.
    I am not sure why I even like them, I would never normally eat malt balls LOL
    Brett

  5. My suggestion exactly, when it comes to ALL candy..and cookies, and….
    I love seeing these brilliant spring colors. Your daffodils are up early it seems. They're gorgeous!!! You are gorgeous in purple too.

  6. I hope the Corginator didn't actually eat the chocolate, if she did – poor baby! And yes, I will blame Miss SJ… She's rotten and if she's anything like her cat-mom and sibs, she loves to knock stuff over.

    I will also NOT admit to recently snarfing down a whole creme egg earlier. Will NOT.

    I do love your gorgeous shoes, Lynne. Your yellow flowers are lovely too!

  7. Aren't kitty cats cute? Tiki likes veggies the best. Albertine will only eat cat food for some reason. And Ronde, well, he'll go after anything, anywhere. Do you think it could've been him…?

    Wow, it's Spring at your place. Daffodils even. And you in your Easter colors, so pretty. Mini eggs, I know nothing about, and it sounds like I should keep it that way. I don't see a turtle anywhere…

  8. I'm on my phone pathetically trying to see your post. As a fellow choco holic I love Cadbury mini eggs. I have a stash of chocolate in my purse as we speak. We had a beagle when I was growing up and he ate a pound of butter off the table. Needless to say he got very sick. I hope you didn't have to clean up the mess that we did. I love your colorful outfit and your wonderful shoes. Love you and hope all is well.

  9. I am dying laughing here!!
    I LOATHE cadbury eggs but the hubster adores them!!

    I can just picture the cat and Corginator collaborating!
    LOVE the outfit-especially the adorable shoes!!!

  10. First – pink and purple, best combo ever. LOVE it.

    Second – Yeah, I'd bet the cat was involved somehow! I am pretty certain my cats are always plotting ways to sneak things from us! I do hope the Corginator didn't actually eat any of that chocolate!

  11. If the Corginator DID eat the eggs, you will find sparkly foil evidence later. Um, yeah. Oh, and if you need to get chocolate out of a small dog fast, a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide down the throat (the dog's, not yours) will work. Um, yeah.

    I wish I could say I only know these things because I read them on the internet.

  12. Definitely feline involvement. Did SJ get the bag off the table and rip it with a delicate yet fiercely sharp claw, for the Loaf-on-short-legs to scoff the mini eggs? That would be my theory. We have means and opportunity… Motivation is clear for The Corginator (greed) but for Sacha Jane? Hmmm… She must be plotting, there's no such thing as a free lunch, or free chocolate.
    Anyway, enough of the sleuthing. You look as pretty as a picture in purple and pink, and the only way you could look any cuter is to add some leopard print. And you did! xxxx

  13. Hmm, I think it was the AM Professor blaming it on your pets! You can have my share of mini eggs, they make my stomach bad 🙁

    This outfit is Spring-delicious, great colour pairing, and the cardi shape is perfect with your dress. I do hope Spring is here now…

  14. Beautiful colors. And, while you may not want to hear this, I LOVE YOUR PANTYHOSED LEGS. They look so smooth, so feminine, so attractive. Yes, I know hosiery can be uncomfortable, but to look this good is worth it.

  15. Pantyhose (blah) I hate those things. Mine sprung a serious run today and made me look a little goth. Not to mention the itching that comes along with it. I've always heard that chocolate was not good for animals. I used to give my cats a sip of chocolate milk before I knew this and well nothing happened (Cat parents, DO NOT TRY AT HOME). I am on a eat clean challenge this week so no chocolate or anything that actually tastes good this week so eat enough for you and I. Love the purple dress and love the color combo of the dress and cardigan.

  16. I blame the cat, too. Much as I love them I'm forever sneaking up on ours and interrupting their plotting.
    That dress is a fabulous shade of Cadbury purple. I worked in the staff restaurant at the Cadbury factory for a while, we could eat as much chocolate as we liked which means nothing to a chocolate-hater like me! xxx

    • I have no willpower with Easter (really any holiday) candy. If I bring a bag into the house it will slowly dwindle. I would try to blame the adorable "Corginator" or a cat, but alas it is neither. The problem is that it is that slippery slope they teach you about in college, sure it is innocent enough I will take on and leave the rest here on the counter. With each pass I grab a few more of those little pieces of heaven. Then I start making excuses to walk by. Oh, I forgot something in the car? Hey did I empty the dishwasher? I know I need to check if I have enough laundry soap for the next six months… of course I do none of this as each time I stop at that bag that taunting me, just lounging there on the counter, telling me telepathically you can always buy another bag.

  17. Hahaha this made me laugh out loud thinking out your chubby Corgie stealing the eggs! MMMM I am craving chocolate now, I have no will power when it comes to sweets either but luckily my man prefers sweets to chocolate so I have the whole jar of Nutella (which I eat by the spoonful!) LOVE this pink and purple outfit, and those shoes! Gasp you're fabulous!

  18. Definitely the cat! And if he's anything like my 9 month old Holy Terror, you will find ALL of them the next time you vacuum – under couches, chairs, in you shoes, under couch cushions, you name it!
    Nan, Toronto Canada

  19. Mini-eggs are a year-round temptation here in Blighty. As are Creme Eggs, but I find those disgusting anyway. Glad The Corginator is OK, and you look great; I love the purple/pink combo so much!

Contact Info:

Lynne J. DeVenny, N.C. State Bar Certified Paralegal

Owner & Virtual Paralegal, DeVenny Paralegal Services

Email: lynne.devenny[at]gmail.com

Telephone: 336-582-0003

Inquiries are welcome, with free quotes available.

Meet Lynne:

Lynne DeVenny is a North Carolina State Bar Certified Paralegal with over 27 years of experience working on complex litigation cases, including medical malpractice, personal injury, workers’ compensation, and Social Security disability.

Disclosure: I am not a lawyer and cannot provide legal representation or legal advice.

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