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Someone Needs a Spanking

So sue me, I’m old school.

Wait, kiddos, don’t sue me. I’ve never spanked you, although I did make you pay that huge cell phone bill you racked up for excess text messages.

That would be grounds for a lawsuit for some kiddos. Seriously, have you guys seen the one about the punks plaintiffs that sued their mama for bad mothering? 

Lowering the Bar reports that it was dismissed, but raise your hand, paralegals, legal professionals, and fairly normal parents, if you ever committed any of the following outrageous acts:

  • Got divorced and shared custody of the kiddos
  • Showed favoritism at any time to any of the kiddos
  • Took one kiddo to an auto show and not the others
  • Negotiated how much money you gave a kiddo for a prom dress or “disco dances” (Huh? Wasn’t disco dead in 2006?)
  • Asked to see receipts for medical expenses
  • Did not send cash to your grown kiddos in their birthday cards
  • Did not send care packages to your kiddos in college
  • Called the other parent the “Disneyland” parent
  • Lived with a significant other you were not married to
  • Refused to return the Popsicle jewelry box the little darling made for you
  • Forced the kiddos to buckle their seat belts
  • Gave your kiddo a midnight curfew for the homecoming dance

I know, we’re all screwed, right?

But you could see where a parent might want to intentionally inflict some emotional distress if she birthed the little prizes that filed the aforementioned lawsuit, couldn’t you? And was the ex-spouse of the attorney and baby daddy that filed it?

I’m going to go increase the youngest kiddo’s allowance now, and hope she remembers me fondly if she’s feeling litigious in the future.

Source:  Lowering the Bar

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