Write these down. You might need them later.

Sometimes a paralegal that works in an adversarial specialty area like litigation needs to mumble something nasty under her breath, while still maintaining professionalism and not cursing at the office. But what to say, what to say?

Maybe a nice combo from the “Shakespeare Insult Kit” will fill the bill, fulfilling the urge to stay something brilliantly derogatory, yet completely unintelligible to the intended target anyone within hearing range.

I’m saving these for a particularly evil-tempered day (not especially mine, but sometimes in litigation, peeps on the other side are unnecessarily mean):

  • Thou mammering milk-livered minnow (I like alliteration)
  • Thou lumpish fool-born barnacle
  • Thou reeky rump-fed scut
  • Thou unmuzzled knotty-pated canker-blossom

These are good – and satisfying. Take that, you villainous doghearted measle.

What’s your fave?

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